The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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