I'm so fucking centered right now
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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