operation have a gay friend backfired
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
