Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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