I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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