the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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