how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
