It's Friday. Sex?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
