Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize