go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
