I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
