I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
