Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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