So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
