I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
