Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
