one two three fourrrrnication!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
