I don't usually arrange sex via text message
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
