Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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