you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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