she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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