I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
