I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
