No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
