I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
