he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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