The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
