Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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