found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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