I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so let's talk penis.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
