My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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