What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
