you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
