Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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