would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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