when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
