I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
