guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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