so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
