that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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