i just wanna soil my oats bro
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
