Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize