The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
