This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
