he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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