Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
