Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
