Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
