So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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