Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
