Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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