I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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