let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
