For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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