she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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