i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Small penises have feelings too.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
