i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
