I am puke
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
