I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's great music for shaving your balls
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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