After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize