you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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