Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
