Just fell off a train. Bad.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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