wat bout pragnant strippers??
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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