i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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