Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
