What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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